Failure.

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce

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After almost a year of not writing a word on here, I have decided to start blogging again. I think I have been more hiding from life than living it. I know that is in complete contrast to what  I talk about on here. I’ve been wrestling with a few questions since moving (perhaps quite a bit before then as well). One of those dreaded questions is: What do I want to do with my life?

A couple of weeks ago I was at lunch with a new friend and she asked what I did for a living. I said, “Well for now, I work in an office, but it’s not where I’ll stay forever.” “What do you want to do forever?” she asked.

I have gone back and forth. To theatre or to not theatre? To bake or to not bake? To write or to not write? By the time I  make it to question three, I have decided to crawl in a hole and cry instead of doing any of them. Why? It’s so much easier. It’s easier to work at a job where I am unfulfilled than it is to put myself out there and be rejected. It’s easier to not try to have friends than it is to be told people don’t want to be your friend. It is so much easier to never try than it is to fail.

I’m not sure when we learn to be afraid of failure. I have been so afraid to fail that I don’t try. What kind of life is that? To me, that is a sad life. I’m still figuring out this thing called life. The older  I get, the more I realize we all are. There is no manual to get us through.

And so, armed with good faith and the willingness to be wrong, I’m beginning to blog again – beginning to live again.

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