“At the end of the day, tell yourself gently: ‘I love you, you did the best you could today, and even if you didn’t accomplished all you had planned, I love you anyway.’” – François
In community, I value honesty and space. I expect my close friends to be honest with me about their feelings and I expect them to know they have the space to feel what they are feeling without me barging into that space. They have space to fully form their opinions before sharing them. They have space to decide boundaries that may mean they never share some things with me. They have space to grieve, or cry, or gush over a date – there is space for whatever they need. Those expectations are extended from them to me as well.
There is safety in that honesty and in that space because it means that we mutually value each other as people. You don’t have to “be the funny one” around me. You don’t have to be anything but yourself with the space and boundaries you desire. Those principles are so important to me and I won’t sacrifice them. That honesty and space is easy and necessary for me in community. It is hard for me to allow that space and honesty for myself.
I hold myself to high standards. I have things I want to accomplish and I work very hard to do that. It’s easy for me to look at all of the things I didn’t do and be discouraged instead of looking at all of things I was able to accomplish. It’s easy for me to forget that I am more than what I do. Who I am as a person is more important than if my to-do list gets done. Who I am is more than how I strive to appear. I am trying to allow the space for myself to say it’s okay to grieve, to fail, to laugh. Whatever it is I am feeling – it’s okay to have that space. It’s okay to say at the end of the day, “I LOVE YOU, YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD TODAY, AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T ACCOMPLISHED ALL YOU HAD PLANNED, I LOVE YOU ANYWAY.”
I hope that you are able to find that honesty and space in your own life. I hope know that you are more than the things that you do – you are valuable because you are you. I hope you know that being honest is one of the most adventurous things you can do.